90 Ideas I Had Whereas Watching the Season 3 Finale of ‘The White Lotus’

This submit accommodates spoilers for Season 3, Episode 8 of The White Lotus.

I don’t fairly understand how we arrived on the closing episode of The White Lotus Season 3, however heading into Sunday night time, I used to be extraordinarily prepared to observe these wealthy folks behave badly for the final time (and, after all, discover out who died!!!!!!!! If anybody died? Although, if nobody died, what have been these gunshots from the primary episode? Did a monkey pay money for a gun? If a monkey received maintain of a gun, I need credit score for predicting it!). It’s been a wild season of Carrie Coon worship, real-life romance inspo, Lorazepam discourse, and book-club fodder, and now it’s time to shut all of it out with a bang. Beneath, discover fairly actually each thought I had concerning the Season 3 finale of The White Lotus.

1. I’m going to overlook these opening credit.
2. I can’t consider the composer had beef with Mike White!
3. Wait, sure I can.
4. It’s Thailand…I imply, Taiwan, Piperrrrrrrr!
5. Hey, Tim’s Duke shirt is again, regardless of Duke telling The White Lotus to get their title out of its mouth.
6. LOL, this little lodge hallway flooring roll.
7. “Don’t you want me anymore? I would like my man.” I like White Lotus masculinity!
8. I want a few of these Thai celebration women received the enjoyable, three-dimensional remedy that Mia and Lucia did in Season 2, to be sincere.
9. Oh, my candy Gaitok.
10. I perceive why Carrie Coon needed to be blonde for this function, however she seems to be so good together with her darkish hair creeping out from beneath!
11. Awww, candy Lochlan.
12. Is Piper sporting LoveShackFancy?
13. God, these are some vivid photographs of monkeys having intercourse.
14. Oh God, Belinda introducing Pornchai to Zion and Zion saying, “We met, Mother,” is such an ungainly reminder of…him strolling in on them.
15. Aww, Zion teasing his mother about liking Pornchai is cute.
16. Piper complaining that the meals on the temple wasn’t natural! Oh, babe, all of us flip into our moms in the long run.
17. Victoria saying it’s offensive to the less-fortunate for the Ratliffs to not take pleasure in their lives…effectively, certain.
18. Each time these brothers are anyplace close to one another, I flinch involuntarily.
19. Wow, I’m so deeply uncomfortable proper now, however a minimum of Saxon appears to be, too.
20. There isn’t any hell fairly like watching your pals have enjoyable with out you on a trio trip.
21. Valentin trying evil as hell in his inexperienced collar 🙂
22. Chelsea’s vivid yellow caftan is so hopeful and so unhappy, in some way.
23. Man, I can spot Walton Goggins’s horny receding hairline from a seashore away.
24. Didn’t count on Chelsea and Rick to have a rom-com-style reunion seashore kiss!
25. LOL, Victoria is so joyful to be shopping for her daughter stuff within the lodge retailer. God (and capitalism) bless.
26. Let Lochlan keep inside and skim! I did it for 18 years, and I’m regular!
27. Oop, it’s Tim v. Pam once more, besides this time she’s attempting to offer him his cellphone again as a substitute of taking it away.
28. Jesus, the tree is known as “the suicide tree” as a result of folks grind up the seeds and eat them to kill themselves?
29. Pam! Don’t inform Tim that!
30. And, yep, he’s ripping the fruit open.
31. Suicide by fruit!
32. Or tried suicide, anyway.
33. “Soup to nuts” is a loopy expression.
34. Hell yeah, Tanya McQuoid invocation.
35. “Mother, why don’t you simply give us businessmen a minute alone?” You sound 5, however okay!
36. “He desires us to be scared, however we have now to make him scared!” Ooh, go Belinda!
37. I’m very right here for a Zion-and-Belinda family-scam season.
38. “I’m assured…once I be ok with myself.” Gaitok! Babygirl!
39. Oh, Christ, is Tim really attempting to kill his entire household by mixing the poison seeds into piña coladas?
40. Okay, he’s sparing Lochlan?????????????
41. WHAT IS HAPPENING?
42. I need Chelsea to be my girlfriend and continuously inform me “You’re free, it’s a brand new day.” Sounds good!
43. Oh, I hate this bizarre Christian gardening metaphor.
44. “I’ve simply been in one of the best temper all week, I actually have.” Jaclyn, woman, be severe!!!!!!!!! We have been all there with you!
45. “All week, I’ve simply been so unhappy.” Precisely, Laurie!
46. Aw, did this in some way flip right into a heartwarming second between the cursed women’-trippers?
47. Holy shit, Tim is making the piña coladas!
48. I’ll by no means drink a type of cocktails the identical method once more.
49. He’s simply going to kill Lochlan’s complete household off and depart him alive, alone?
50. I’m straight-up panicking concerning the final result right here.
51. What within the Jonestown fuck is that this pre-death toast?
52. LMAO at any father or mother confidently declaring that his youngsters have “no trauma.”
53. Oh hell yeah, time for Victoria’s “toast to Thailand.”
54. Obsessive about Victoria completely knocking again her dying drink.
55. OMG, he slapped the drink proper out of Saxon’s hand on the final minute.
56. That was some actually darkish stuff, even for this present.
57. “Have you ever ever heard of wine?”
58. Wow, Greg really gave Belinda the cash!
59. Oh shit, Lochlan’s utilizing the blender that has the toxic seeds in it.
60. No! Not Lochlan!
61. Rick v. Jim time!
62. Why did I by no means notice that Chelsea is completely Adriana La Cerva from The Sopranos-coded (clueless, scorching girlfriend of a depressing man attempting to avenge his father’s dying)?
63. Oh shit, Lochlan’s puking into the pool.
64. 🙁
65. I’m sorry, however how are you going to not wash out the blender typically, not to mention if you’re utilizing it to make death-seed cocktails?
66. OMG, Rick simply shot Jim!
67. Okay, wonderful, the killer wasn’t a monkey.
68. JIM IS RICK’S FATHER?
69. Okay, Maury!
70. Shootout time!
71. CHELSEA DIES????????????????????????
72. Oh, Mike White, you might be completely not seeing heaven.
73. The factor about ignoring your girlfriend for a complete journey is that she miiiiiiight…die? Simply to make you’re feeling dangerous?
74. Girls: We’ve our methods!
75. Is Gaitok going to shoot Rick???
76. Yep, Gaitok shot Rick.
77. In order that’s Rick, Chelsea, Jim, and Lochlan useless, proper?
78. This shot of Rick’s floating physique is creeping me out in a really possible way.
79. Wait, is Lochlan not useless?
80. He appears to be again and puking!
81. “I feel I simply noticed God.” Iconic line!
82. The Ratliff siblings all look fairly chill, given all that’s gone on throughout their journey.
83. Wait, so Lochlan has no well being points from consuming the seeds?
84. I don’t really feel like that plotline is completely resolved for me, personally.
85. Factors to Tim for telling his household that “issues are about to alter” after principally attempting to kill all of them.
86. The blonde trio doesn’t appear that pressured concerning the deaths, both.
87. God, Greg is such an unkillable creep.
88. If there aren’t any physique baggage being loaded onto the aircraft on the finish of the journey, it undoubtedly wasn’t a White Lotus keep.
89. Dwell your stunning lives, Belinda and Zion!
90. Aw, I want the Belinda/Pornchai romance arc had labored out.